All apologies #1

I used to berate and belittle—um, literally?—Calvin for constantly claiming he was 6'5". He was a bit taller than I and I am 6'2" so every time he brought up his height, especially in front of women, I’d call him a liar. He’d counter by saying I was wrong about being 6'2". I’d point out to everyone that I had no reason to short myself, ho-ho, so Calvin must be the one exagerating his length.

That’s how everyone came to distrust Calvin and feel that he was always trying just a little too hard to be something more than he was in fact. There were even rumors his exagerations of stature extended to all parts extending.

Calvin is a much better guitar player than I am. And you. And everyone you know that plays guitar. And everyone you think is the best guitar player you’ve ever heard. I’m not. None of those. So, I’ll tell you, I didn’t mind having the frequent chance to undermine.

Recently, tired of reading about the bones in the feet and bored in the doctor’s office, I stepped up, besocked, to the old measuring tape and gave the level a shove up and back to meet my head. Turns out I’m well over 6'3", almost 6'4".

So I guess I owe you an apology, Calvin… But you still don’t wash dishes very well!!!