Haven’t seen them much in about a year. Nice to have them back. Nice for me. The carpenter ants and beetle larvæ probably don’t appreciate it at all.

Aside: it’s the same apple tree as this picture.

gracious sasha

gracious sasha, you know what i think? ₁
if i knew more men like you i pro’ly wouldn’t drink. ₂
0.52 12.10.94

Eating some sort of little wood wasp, I think. Same spider species as this one but more detail shows in the mellower light.

And I stand corrected. Since I was a kid I called these wolf spiders. They aren’t. Officially anyway. I was under the impression that any spider that doesn’t build a web was a “wolf.” The arachnid pictured is a jumping spider.

stunning shandra

stunning shandra, you know what i think? ₁
that were your juice poison i might just still drink. ₂
23.54 19.6.94

Found in Carkeek Park this weekend.

this is all that matters

ashtaroth and thoth strummed ₁
the blue over with sackcloth ₂
the day the child king suffocated ₃
and was tossed in a ditch. ₄
while children are wonderful ₅
they just can’t be culpable ₆
and never kings or ₇
queens should make. ₈

the thinking girls’ moon ₉
rises over manihiki ₁₀
while it sets on dover, ₁₁
an arc second proving ₁₂
a rose in a pose will never ₁₃
favorably compare with flowering clover. ₁₄
and this is all that matters, ₁₅
these words, these facts, ₁₆
these islands, these seas. ₁₇
0.24 7.9.94

Yesterday afternoon. The top one was brand new to me. Largest I’ve seen in Washington. Found him on the ceiling near the window I left open all night. He negotiated the tiny space the screen doesn’t cover at the bottom. Put him out for the pictures. He jumped right into the lens once. I’m not sure if he thought the reflection was space where he could escape or he saw his reflection and went for it.

The bottom one is the most common jumping spider, according to me, around Seattle. Found him outside exactly where this one was, 5 minutes before finding the big one. Moved him to the garage just for fun. Posted them once before.

wakeless sleep #1

one period will stop you, ₁
one comma will pause, ₂
lion, tiger, baby brother ₃
licking bloody paws. ₄
8.93

I know it’s not as pretty as some nudibranchs but it’s not half bad looking either.

study for a vacant altar

i feel sure there are wounds left to write ₁
and the autumn limousines ₂
stretch the credibility of ₃
my own season’s lack of fame. ₄
staring from the high places ₅
these sanctified empty sheets; ₆
who dares foul them, ₇
who is chaste by choice ₈
is what they’d welcome ₉
to bloody with another whose blossom’s regrown ₁₀
and in gratitude exchange ₁₁
sanity for fecundity, ₁₂
empty pages for a swelling belly. ₁₃
30.8.98

[book of autumn thirst]

meaningless against

the multiplicity of anniversary ₁
came one late ₂
winter and beat the shit out of me. ₃
taste of myself in my mouth, ₄
taste of dungeon holiday ₅
and if i could, i would fly north ₆
for every rest of winters’ day ₇
that’re mine to compound and repay ₈
tiny debts incurred and ₉
penciled into big bad wrongs. ₁₀
i’m looking for a vampire priest ₁₁
who’s forever on a jet headed east ₁₂
’cause the inevitable has no meaning in time, ₁₃
it’s already happened. ₁₄
i’ve already sought my every own destruction ₁₅
and failed. ₁₆
20.01 9.3.95

wont to work from my home avertising by conputer if this is somthing i can do let no how mutch money i well make thank yoy have good day

happy newyears

I used to keep a hard copy taped in my cubical to remind me.

I originally shot that picture not even looking at the fern at all. While going through thumbnail sized galleries looking for things I was struck by the composition and prettiness of the fern. Wondering if I had actually taken it or managed to import one of Julie’s accidentally. She’s a professional and has done nature shots in that idiom. When I enlarged it I realized it was mine. I didn’t see the fern because I was taking a picture of a beetle.

Of course, now it’s not a terrific picture of either because the focus is on the beetle and he’s uninspiring. Wish I’d been looking at the fern instead.

[untitled]

dapper like a magpie, ₁
broken like a sucker, ₂
wiser than all magi, ₃
cockeyed motherfucker. ₄
10.08.2000

Outside just a few mintues ago. Enjoying some sun after a gray morning and a brief downpour. Unusually cooperative animal let me put the camera four inches from it.

[book of autumn thirst]

then but never later

trappings of intimacy, ₁
raiments of fidelity, ₂
you wear them thinly ₃
and in the sunlight we all see ₄
(and we really look) ₅
that you’ve forgotten a slip. ₆
1.7.95

About 2lbs but that’s not important right now. What you need to know is that a great blue heron weighs more than two ducks. How about three? ...like you could give a duck.

corpse bound

corpus cristi

on a train for shrike town ₁
where every meal is vicious ₂
and every course delicious ₃
and everyone who fishes ₄
in those skies ₅
is as like to go blue ₆
in face ₇
as the terminal velocity ₈
chameleon tries. ₉
train to bologna, 22.03.96

Sadly I have no pictures for this right now. Might eventually add a baby crow I took last year. [update: added an anticlimactic picture of the dried blood.]

In the park with the kids today, they found a baby crow. It was obviously tired and unable to fly more. It was headed for a play-date of a bunch of little yuppie larvæ whose ’rents weren’t watching at all. I don’t actually like crows much. I respect them for their brains but they aren’t in my top bird list. So I wouldn’t have minded seeing an otter or something eat the fledgling but I sure dislike cruelty and I didn’t wanna see the little bastards chase it into the dirt. So I picked it up to take it to the trees.

The adult crows waited till the fledgling started squawking. The first two passes were a couple feet over my head. The third one—and no one was more suprised than I—connected like a whiffle bat wrapped in blackberries, dead in the top of my skull.

I put the chick on a fence in some bushes and trees. I put my hand to my head. Came down with a fair amount of blood on my palm.

The most interesting part is that as someone who has no fear of animals I now can see a bit more of a horror aspect to things like The Birds. The blow didn’t stun me or anything but six hours later and my head is still tight and aching. It feels like a little bit of concussion and everything. If I’d taken that shot in the face, I’d have landed on my ass and spent the evening in the emergency room getting my eyes fixed. A one pound bird. But I’m sure Tyrannosaurs didn’t hunt, Dr Horner. Jackass.

Let this be a lesson to anyone who wants to help anyone else.

Appendix to the attacks

Today was far from unique. The following are animals that have drawn my blood (or just pierced the skin). In order of blood let.

• Dogs
• Bull snake
• Various vespas
• Crow
• Chipmunk (it was a lot of blood)
• Cats (including a bite all the way through my thumb and two inch scar on my jaw)
• Coral (well, they are animals)

I think I’m forgetting one or two. I’ll update if I remember.

Another unwanted gift.

This is nice because they are just where the crows destroyed a nest last year. I don’t know where the nest was ths time but it must have been close because they can’t fly well yet. That’s six fledglings fluttering and tweeting for the parent(s) to come back with more bugs. A very successful brood. Maybe 100% so far.

So, this site is a combination of experiment (I wrote the software that runs it), assignment and exercise (I’m supposed to be writing something for it everyday; ha!), and archives for the reams of things I’ve written or done in the past.

Today was the first major stab of wanting to quit it. Even dusting off old writing or photographs takes a fair amount of time which I just don’t have and would be better channeled into projects that make money, like Sage or The Devil’s Dictionary X.

Speaking of which.

practice

1. something perfect but not yet…

2. that which has been practiced to within a tolerance…

3. the road to perfection, paved with… something funny.

4. that which is best done, like all filthy and clumsy acts, in private; for a practical demonstration see 1-3 above.

Finally got all the music gear together. First time trying to post an audio clip. This is a short, more overtly pop, version of a relatively dark, and quite long, song called “Dog Days.” It was written and put together in 1994(?) I think. I still have to learn how to edit the mp3 info tags and such so this post, or the music file, might get changed a bit in the future.

Play it above or download it here: Dog Days (short mix) (1:15, 160kbs).

Joy and Raven

joy and raven ₁
may come over tonight ₂
so i may be dead by morning ₃
but for now i’m alright ₄

i wanted to tell you a story ₅
of a girl whose eyes broke for me and ₆
she cried herself a sea ₇
but i know ₈
it would be ₉
i know ₁₀
it would be wrong ₁₁

darkness and sorrow ₁₂
may on the sill alight ₁₃
so my eyes may drown or burn down ₁₄
but i’ll enjoy the sight ₁₅

i wanted to let you in ₁₆
on what is concealed behind my grin ₁₇
but i guess ₁₈
you’d misunderstand ₁₉
i guess you'd call it sin ₂₀

cassidy and jasper ₂₁
may be wed tonight ₂₂
and of all vows theirs shall never ₂₃
ever be held slight ₂₄

to say to you ₂₅
what i felt i needed to ₂₆
would be to spill a whole fuck of blue ₂₇
and then who ₂₈
and then ₂₉
who would you do? ₃₀

joyless raven ₃₁
spins to the ground tonight ₃₂
no happily living for good this time ₃₃
but you know she'll be alright ₃₄
1992

Something light again. Just for fun.

Play it above or download it here: Crumbs (2:01, 256kbs).

This rounds out all the most common spiders we’ve got. This is the cobweb champ and all around basement and closet spider. Don’t know the species yet.

In case you don’t have your own to scrutinize, here’s a close-up of the hairy legs on these girls.

This is the track for a set of lyrics I posted before. Neil Hamilton is on bass. I miss being able to rely on him for wonderful chops. Everything else is me. It’s from ’92 so you’ll please excuse some roughness; especially in the vocals.

Um, play it loud. It’s what was meant to be.

Download it here: In My Shadow (5:06, 128kbs).

If you read the lyrics, you’ll notice the last verse is not in the recorded version. Neil’s really very, very nice bass line out of the song made me reconsider the ending after awhile. If it gets redone as something more than a demo, I’d have a track break into hand drums rolling back in and accoustic bass and guitar playing under the final verse.

september nineteen ninety three

oh, no… ₁
while the dissolving powder ₂
rarefied my fluids ₃
you were kidnapped ₄
and sacrificed by druids. ₅

i wrote out the chain, ₆
copied it dot for dot ₇
and i thought i felt better ₈
but i’ll tell you what, ₉

my caiman and me ₁₀
met the gavial for coffee ₁₁
but their wish was for fish ₁₂
and mine, lesbian toffee, ₁₃

so we kicked around some ideas, ₁₄
kicked in some heads, ₁₅
until we saw that my byline ₁₆
on c thirtysix read: ₁₇

his cat’s in the cradle ₁₈
eating the baby again ₁₉
and his lovelies so chubby ₂₀
are still growing thin. ₂₁

the tears reserved ₂₂
for years, chaste with beers, ₂₃
came out of me at last ₂₄
to the reptiles’ chilly cheers. ₂₅

the voices grew louder ₂₆
and their colors told me then ₂₇
that i was still to love you ₂₈
but i did not give in. ₂₉
18.37 12.11.93

Even in the rotten convolutions of death we may make nice soft lining for another’s nest eggs.